“No man is an island.” This famous quote by English poet John Donne captures the essence of human nature and the unavoidable need for human connection. In other words, it demonstrates that people do not exist by themselves and that in order to grow and live in a society, they inevitably have to interact with and coexist with others. These social interactions build up over time and anchor people to one another. Instead of floating aimlessly in an endless sea of individualism, we are strung together by our differences and proximity. An interesting example of the nature of human coexistence can be found in Fredrik Backman’s novel, A Man Called Ove. In the book, we trace the life of Ove, a fifty-nine-year-old man who is initially very grumpy and strict with others after the loss of his beloved wife Sonja, who was the sun around whom Ove revolved before her untimely death. Through his interactions with Sonja, Ove could escape from his ordinary daily life which in general did not make him feel like he was truly living. After Sonja’s death, Ove is isolated until he meets his young neighbor, Parvaneh. As time passes, Parvaneh helps Ove coax out his true, interior mindset from the depths of isolation and strict rules. These interactions with Sonja and Paravaneh provide valuable insights to Ove. Interactions with others help people develop their initial values or thoughts positively by providing valuable insights. Through Ove’s relationships with Sonja and Parvaneh, Backman illustrates how human interactions provide valuable insights, allowing people to evolve and enrich their lives in unexpected ways.
His interactions with Sonja bring color and joy into Ove’s repetitive life routine by providing valuable insights into finding happiness beyond his strict rules, making Ove change his initial evaluation of himself. Backman utilizes a series of flashbacks that detail the development of Ove’s relationship to Sonja to demonstrate how she was able to slowly pry open Ove’s carefully constructed walls. In the past, Ove was a grim young man who relied on strict rules and routines to structure his days after the loss of his parents. One day, Ove met Sonja on the train—this was a classic example of love at first sight. Through many interactions with Sonja, Ove could find his happiness and start to break free from the shackles of his loneliness. Sonja gave color and joy to Ove’s repetitive routines of life. For example, Ove once recounts how Sonja “stood outside the station with his flowers pressed happily to her breast, in that red cardigan of hers, making the rest of the world look as if it were made in grayscale” (Backman, 133). This vivid description shows that Sonja started to inject colors into Ove’s grayscale world, which is nothing more than a repetitive, grim routine. From another perspective, it is a sign that Ove is slowly cracking away his rough exterior to allow him to eventually compromise on his precise, almost tyrannical routine to seek true happiness. He breaks so far away from his familiar routine that he even unconsciously lies to Sonja that he completed military service in a conversation they were having on the train just to impress her (Backman, 130). This act of improvisation proves that Ove is clearly falling in love with Sonja as lying is completely out of character for a man who is known for his honesty and rigidity. His lie is a small act of rebellion against his own structured nature, suggesting that Sonja’s presence inspires him to step out of his comfort zone. Sonja teaches Ove to find joy in spontaneity and imperfection, lessons that transform his perception of himself and the world around him.
In addition, the interactions with Parvaneh help Ove develop as an altruistic person who helps others rather than an antisocial hermit. Initially, at the beginning of the novel, Ove is a person who doesn’t help others. He used to refuse to help others like Anita and Rune. He was rude to others in his immediate surroundings and openly pessimistic about life. After Parvaneh moved next door to Ove’s house as his new neighbor, Parvaneh tried to have many interactions with Ove by approaching him. During interactions, she often forced Ove to help others. For example, he helped a person who was about to die in a train accident. He also helped Parvaneh when she needed to go to the hospital to see her husband. He even extends his altruism to the cat, who is about to die due to the weather. One prime example of Ove’s growing altruism is when he fixes Parvaneh’s radiator. She pleads with Ove to help her fix the broken machine so that her children won’t spend the night shivering in pain. Parvaneh asks Ove, “And you can’t let the girls freeze to death tonight, Ove, right?” (Backman, 127). By urging Ove to help others, Parvaneh initiated a shift in Ove’s character.
To this end, A Man Called Ove by Backman utilizes the character of Ove as a tool to prove that interactions forged between human beings are the ones that shape and redefine who we are. These interactions help us positively develop beyond our initial forms to become the best versions of ourselves. Through Ove’s journey, Backman reminds us that we are not alone and that even in our darkest moments, there are people willing to reach out, if only we allow them.
As readers, we are invited to reflect on our own lives and consider the ways our relationships mold us into different versions of ourselves. Just as Ove finds solace and meaning through his interactions with Sonja and Parvaneh, we too can find strength and purpose in the bonds we share with others.
Dongyun (Daniel) Shin is a tenth grader originally from Seoul but is currently attending an international school in Jeju, South Korea. He enjoys taking personal notes, especially on interesting articles he reads, things he listens to, and videos he watches. Originally, this piece was for an English assignment but he has since adapted it into a book review of Fredrik Backman’s 2012 novel A Man Called Ove. Daniel hopes that readers get a chance to reflect on their own relationships in their lives and remind themselves of the importance of forging meaningful human connections after reading this post.