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Blue Marble Review

Literary Journal for Young Writers

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Fiction

Snowday

By Crystal Peng

Snow falls. Today: Wake up. Outside the glass the field is white, sprung with down. Turn to see myself in the glass but see Imogen instead. Her wrinkles etched onto me; scars inked into me. Ache but Imogen doesn’t budge, flails tight against my pores. Yell Get out get out get out from behind the glass. Today: I want to Get out get out get out where Imogen can’t be seen. (Things I carry: warmth ran between jawline, bedsheet heat welled into heart.) Where I won’t be seen as Imogen, where I can’t see myself as Imogen. Get out get out get out! Beyond the glass is a blinding blizzard, in that blizzard is a field. Get up: Imogen brushes my teeth. I brush my teeth. Rinse; twice. (Wool: Imogen is allergic to wool; I dress in wool.) Mother sees me see Imogen in glass, scowls at my foggy disproportion. Mother pours me breakfast porridge, tries to unfrown my visage. But I, I don’t touch the porridge, no, instead I pin Imogen down in the glass. Tell her I don’t want to wear her anymore. Tell her I want to peel myself like an orange, her skin like my rind. Mother yells at Imogen, NO, she yells at Me! Get Out! Late for School! Get sick without sweater! (Mother-heated words pelted at the spine; made to wear as parka.) But Get Out Get Out Get Out Get Out Today! Getting out to that field of snow! Imogen, she blinds away against the cold. The cold is where I finally breathe. Today I threaten, strangling Imogen with my own hair, teeth grazing her own skin. Break her glass. Sniff its sour edge. (Gloves gloved, feet shoed, no, booted!) Yesterday, I hid in her closet. A symmetrical skeleton to her bones. But Today I’ll Get Out! Get Out & Away, Away to See Imogen where she can’t be Seen, Away into that blizzard field! Get! Out Out! Out Get-ting! Out To-day Out Today—

—Today, it snows. Today, sitting on the welcome mat I boot my feet, boot Imogen’s feet. Today, sitting on the leaving mat I have decided to Leave. Check the thermostat, once. Twice. Thrice. I check it until my face is limp against plaster walls. Check stove. Check doors, windows (Don’t look for myself in the glass!) Coat on, hair out from under the scarf, my breath already hazed like the blizzard. I’m Leaving Today. Leaving the chrysalis where I’ve homed, I’m leaving all my glassy shards behind. Gonna Leave Imogen behind to go to that snowy field, gonna leave her for the cold. Getting Out! I know what I’ll do, yes, I will Leave her behind. I’m Leaving to where I’ll be seen without Imogen. Leaving this land, no, this nation of Imogen. Leaving the Imogen nation. Leaving the Imagination. Get out! I’m Leaving! Today, I’m Leaving Imogen behind! I Leave Imogen Behind! I Leave what is Imagined Behind.

 

Crystal Peng is a high school student living in Vancouver, Canada. Her work has been awarded first prize in the Jessamy Stursberg Poetry Prize and has appeared in Poetry Pause and Sine Theta Magazine.

 

 

Cyclical

By Mrinal Pattanaik

It’s Friday morning and you haven’t called once. I keep looking at my phone and expecting to see at least a drive safe, baby, but all my recent messages are from my friends and my mom. I call you twice (not more because I don’t want to feel desperate) and go on with my day and think I’ll probably drunk text my best friend about how annoying you’re being.

It’s Friday afternoon when you text me: can you get to the hospital?

            I call you twice more and you don’t answer, so I just drive over, hoping I picked the right one. When I walk in, I don’t know what to say: my girlfriend is here and she’s visiting someone and she didn’t call me and I was supposed to go on a ten-hour drive today and I’ll have to wait until tomorrow because I’m her backup.

            My girlfriend is visiting a resident. I think she needs to be checked in too.

            My girlfriend is visiting a resident and I’m still jealous she gets all her attention.

            Finally, I decide not to say anything — how can I, anyway, when I only know your best friend secondhand — and go back to my car. I drive around aimlessly until I find a Starbucks and pick up two coffees, one black and one with four creams and two sugars because you’ve always liked your coffee too sweet. By the time I get back to the hospital, you’re standing outside. Your nose is stained pink from the cold even though you’re wearing a huge scarf, easily as big as you are when it’s unraveled.

“Hey,” you say, and then, “sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” I say this often: I can’t make you feel guilty because you didn’t text me back in time or show up to our date or call me when I’m going on a drive upstate, not when the alternative is letting your friend die. It’s okay being second-choice when it’s like this, I think, so I add, “Seriously, it’s not a big deal.”

Your smile is small and reminds me of one of those wobbly cartoon ones. This is the part where you should say something like you’re the best or even just thank you, but instead you fidget with the hem of your skirt before turning the radio on and half-heartedly humming to the top forty song that starts playing, too loud and too fast. It’s the kind of song I’d be belting with you if your best friend didn’t try to kill herself again today, but she did, so I just stare at the road and wonder how long it’ll take before one of us gives up.

“You should talk to someone.” I can’t say you should talk to me because it feels self-obsessed and I can’t afford to be, not now. “Even, like, those online sessions would be better than nothing.”

“I know.” It’s always here where we start sounding like broken records, scratch and repeat and scratch and repeat. “I will when I’m ready.”

Two and a half months later, you’ll call me and say you can’t do this anymore: because you feel bad about always leaving me on hold, because you can’t make a relationship your top priority when someone’s using you as a lifeline, because you still don’t know how to talk to someone. I’ll say I understand even though I want to yell at you or cry or do something insane, at least a little bit, and then I’ll consider blocking your number but I won’t, just in case you end up needing me again.

Six months later, you’ll text me: thank you. I’ll draft eight different texts back, some of them angry, some of them upset, one of them asking how you’re doing, how she’s doing, and then I’ll just say no problem. I’ve never been good at tying up loose ends, especially not with you.

Right now, though, we’re in my car drinking lukewarm Starbucks outside your garage. “Drive safe tomorrow,” you say. You kiss my cheek and something about it feels like I love you, though maybe it’s just wishful thinking. I say I will, don’t worry, and I watch you go in until the garage door closes behind you, a long, low hum.

I drive home. I text my best friend. I think about yours.

 

 

Mrinal Pattanaik is a senior at Neuqua Valley High School. Her work has been recognized by the Scholastic Art and Writing Awards, Sandpiper Magazine, and Up North Lit, amongst others.

 

Loathing

By Rita Chernikova

Lending him my laptop was easy. Letting him lean on me for the rest of the year was not.

I became the Laptev Sea that his little lolling boat could sail onto lie after lie. And I lacked in linguistics to let him learn of my level of loathing.

 

 

Rita Chernikova is a writer from Wicklow, Ireland. She writes in two languages, English and Russian but hopes that her persistent study of French will become her third linguistic funnel for thoughts in the future. When she isn’t fanatically hitting the keys of her laptop she likes to play guitar, hula-hoop or do whacky art with bird feathers.

New Truths

By Ishita Shah

“I had dinner in Queen Elizabeth’s palace this summer!”

Oohs and aahs rang across the classroom. All eyes were now on the new girl, no longer an inconspicuous figure in the back row shrouded in a hooded lavender raincoat. Daisy stood up from her seat and scanned her prey for the first time. She spotted the deer, wide-eyed, and she sensed suspicion amidst the serpents. The birds grew thrilled and chatty, and the bugs were fazed enough by the news to inch their antlers just a little closer. With a subtle raise of the eyebrows, she lured her game yet closer, and with a flash of her smile, the jungle was under her reign.

The charades continued that afternoon. On the playground, upon her announcement of her distant relation with Taylor Swift, Daisy had gathered an entourage. The girls chased her in clusters like puppies in a litter.

Her band was charmed. She told them about the time she sat third row in the 2016 Olympics. She boasted about the street in New York City that was named after her. She described what summer had looked like in Belgium when she lived there for three months. Each new fairytale drew a new curious face, and by the end of the week, Daisy was forced to implement a recess schedule to meet the desperate requests of her awestruck peers, who yearned to stroke the fur of her newly imported Swedish wool coat.

But after Lucy Hall spotted the Old Navy tag on the inside of the woolly coat on Daisy’s backpack hook, the whispers traveled in ripples. As Daisy passed them by at recess, the students hollered, calling her a phony, a wannabe, a laughing stock.

The girls began to observe Daisy from a distance. They watched her jump out of her seat at the tap of a pencil on a desk and bury her head in her hands when the dismissal bell rang. They heard her mutter to the tiles on the floor as if she could see right through them. They saw her claw and bite at air like it had slipped right out of her.

The girls conjectured. They said her eyes were hollow like lightbulbs, that the blaze inside hardly flickered. But Daisy could see it all. She saw monsters in the trees and shadows in her childhood swing set. She heard voices in her head, voices which told her that her ticket to the school fair was a ticket to Belgium. She couldn’t make out the words on her clothing tags; she could only see fuzzy hazes of unfamiliar script and of a life forgotten. She was no longer Daisy – she was one with the voices.

The voices told her to forget about pills and problems and to kick and scream and pace. They showed her the underworld and took her to Europe overnight. They left her unfazed. They left her renewed. So, she let them consume her.

And she mumbled the truths in her sleep.

 

 

Ishita Shah is an aspiring writer from Texas. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, Polyphony Lit, and Positively Positive. In her spare time, she can often be found baking with her family of four or listening to Christmas music (all year round).

Per Aspera Ad Astra

By Freddie Coffey

10:41am, 28th of January. Smith walked through the threshold and set foot onto the air bridge. The door to the bright, gleaming rocket lay not ten strides away from him. He looked down through the bridge’s metal grates. They were red. Through them he could see all the way down to the icy ground, several hundred feet below. It was cold. He could hear the rocket creak and groan and had to assure himself it was alright, the rocket always expanded and contracted when it was cold. It was alright.

He walked briskly across the bridge. He didn’t look down through the red grating again when he crossed it. He didn’t like looking down. It reminded him of being high above the ground, dropping thunder on the forest in Vietnam. He was glad that the windows in the rocket only pointed upward.

As he crouched to fit through the hatch, he paused in the threshold. Reaching to his chest, he removed a small pin. It was firm in his hand. On one side was emblazoned the word ‘NASA’ in blue. On the other side, that morning his wife had scratched the agency’s motto. “Per Aspera ad Astra”– through hardships to the stars.

He brought the pin up to his lips, kissed it, then leaned out and let it slip from his hand through a gap in the bridge’s red grating. It fell, fell, fell through the cold air for what seemed like an eternity. He thought he saw it land near the base of the boosters, but he couldn’t be certain. It was too high up to make out such a small object clearly. It was too high up to hear it land either. The rocket was creaking too loud anyway. He stepped back into the rocket and looked out. He sighed. He paused, then pulled the hatch shut.

 The ignition flared; its flames enveloped the pin. It melted into the ground. The Challenger rocket lifted itself into the sky.

 

Freddie Coffey is a rising senior at the Collegiate School in Manhattan. While now firmly a New Yorker, Freddie was born in the UK, and attended Eton College on an Oppidan scholarship until he emigrated at the start of his sophomore year. A long time poet and writer, Freddie founded and directs The Decameron Project (decameronproject.org), a non-profit organization that connects thousands of students, teachers, and passionate authors worldwide through the power of storytelling during the pandemic. Freddie is a contributor to and editor-in-chief of his school’s literary journal, Prufrock.

Why the Kids Can’t Sleep

By Divinity Sykes

I emerged from my room around seven in the evening to grab a snack and chat with my parents after a long day of school and video games. As I opened my door the national emergency alert signal stopped my blood cold in my veins. Three endless, atonal sirens later and the announcer was prophesying the end of the world.

“This is an emergency broadcast,” echoed that robotic male voice that I and the rest of the population have been conditioned to fear since birth, “Nuclear missiles have been detected and are currently inbound. Shelter in place, under furniture in the innermost room of your house.”

He kept going, but my ears were ringing too loudly for the harbinger’s cries to reach me. I stumbled out into the hallway, collapsing against the wall to keep myself upright. It felt as though my heart was beating so fast that it had begun beating slowly. The corners of my vision grew fuzzy, blurring out the family photos hanging up on the wall, and the soft blue glow of the living room television at the end of the hall.

Thoughts of my parents snapped to the forefront of mind, and I stumbled on weak knees towards them. My mother reclined on the living room sofa, listening to the emergency broadcast in her bathrobe with a can of peanuts in one hand and her decrepit old poodle curled up in her other arm.

Dad was sitting back in his brown leather chair, his eyes only half open. I couldn’t be sure if he was hearing the whole announcement, on account of his bad hearing. I stared at them from the hallway, my hands gripping to anything solid.

This was it, then.

This was how we died. Me, having just spent the last couple hours wrapped in blissful ignorance as I played first person shooters with my friends. My parents here with me, to the very end. Likely, my sister would call any moment, and then we could all die, the four of us, together.

I breathed deeply, and with each breath I started to accept my fate. If we were lucky, it would be quick. I simply had to be strong for Mom, now. I put on my brave face, tossing my long blonde tresses over my shoulder, and in the manliest tone I could muster, asked, “How much time do we have?”

Mom turned back to me, that sweet smile of hers decorating her beautifully round face. I made an effort to memorize every sparkle in her olive-green eyes. It took all my willpower to let her answer my question, before I broke down and curled up sobbing in her arms, as I had done in my younger days. Telling her and Dad both that I loved them so much, even though we never said it very much.

Casually as could be, Mom popped a handful of peanuts in her mouth, chewed, and once she was done chewing said, in answer to my question, “Oh, well, the movie has only been on for about thirty minutes now. Why, did you want to watch something else?”

As quickly as fear had rushed over me, it drained out of me all at once. Leaving a sick, but blessedly numb, sort of relief in its wake. I curled up beside my Mom, smiling weakly into her neck, breathing in her familiar smell like oxygen. “No, no, leave it on. I like scary stories.”

 

Divinity Sykes is a senior at UNC Chapel Hill who is pursuing a degree in Spanish Interpretation. Writing is her life long passion and she is blessed with a loving family, and wants to thank them now for all the support they give. Especially Cedric, the inspiration for this story.

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