hey so
so today i saw someone thought it was you
could’ve sworn it was you they had the same jacket i guess
but how are you? no actually let’s scratch that
because i don’t really want to know how you are because
talking is weird now.
(can we acknowledge that?
can we rip the band-aid off
or is this wound not ready to rot in the sun?)
yeah talking is weird now but being without you is weirder.
i don’t want to know you now but
i wanted to know you then, or
i wanted you to know me, or
i want you to want to know me now
(something like that)
and at night i pull up your contact
i keep typing “hey do you still like me?” and then not hitting send.
i’ve been thinking about elementary school like how
we’re kinda like the tinfoil boats we would make
adding dimes till it sinks
or when you catch the teacher crying and
realize she’s human but you kinda wish she wasn’t
so i don’t know where i was going with this but i think
i think there’s still some part of you that still gets what i mean.
you know i used to daydream about you,
like imagining us in every movie i watched,
i’d be chasing after your train, you’d be watching me
out the window, or like you’d come back home
after years away and i’d be waiting for you,
and we’d be perfect,
and we’d be perfect,
but that would never happen anyway.
because there’s no one to write our story except us.
anyway what i am trying to say is
i know time is unstoppable, like
it lives in our walls, like
it’s the blindfold and the pin and the donkey,
it recedes like a tsunami and then
swings for the sucker punch,
i know we are dragged out to sea
but i think there’s still time, grab my arm,
we can go back to ourselves, we can
go back to the way things used to be.
if our past selves still live within us
(like tree rings or like nesting dolls)
let’s bring them out
let’s let them talk.
Marlo Cowan is a young writer from the West Coast. They have a passion for linguistics and baked goods and are proud to identify as nonbinary. They were a commended poet in the 2021 Foyle Young Poets Contest.