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Blue Marble Review

Literary Journal for Young Writers

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March 2021

Truckerado

By Emma Hill

The Zoom call makes Papaw’s face look redder than usual, and he’s shaved clean, which isn’t usual for November. All throughout the year, Papaw keeps clean shaven, but in November up until New Year’s, Nana allows any sort of facial hair he desires. By far the most popular among the grandchildren is the Santa beard. He can grow his white beard out into a jolly triangle and, with his rosy red cheeks and German nose, all he has to do is throw on a red T-shirt and take off his USAF ball cap and he’s Santa.

Not this year. Maybe Aunt Kissy read somewhere that COVID likes bearded men.

#

“Don Henley and I used to play a game,” Papaw begins. “With the others.”

He means Don Henley the future Eagles drummer; “others” refers to Freddy Neese his third cousin, Jerry Surratt who would die in a car accident after signing a deal with Kenny Rogers, and Richard Bowen who was “just there”. The “others” and Don Henley were two years ahead of Papaw at Linden-Kildare High School. They still invited him along, even though his success at football directly contrasted Don Henley’s own failure at the sport, which led him to music. At night, a game was played, and it involved Highway 59.

 

As a small town resident myself, I understand how a highway can quickly morph from a means of transportation into an opportunity for entertainment. A weekend activity for Linden teenagers involved drag racing, dirt biking, or just watching the cars pass their monotonous way.

Sometimes, they played tricks on eighteen-wheelers.

From what I can gather, it was just those five; the whole of Linden did not indulge in such dangerous behaviors. Just those five would visit a closed gas station at two in the morning, where old tires were wrapped in brightly colored cellophane to make them look brand new, like oversized candies. Just those five stole an old tire (Orange, Papaw thinks) and rolled it to the highway’s edge, where they arranged it so a passing trucker, who would be barely awake and not thinking straight at two in the morning, would think it had fallen out of a tire-supplier’s truck bed. Just those five knew the allure of a brand new tire to poor truckers, who would slam on the brakes (It takes eighteen-wheelers a long time to stop, Papaw reminds us) and run out of the truck to find the tire. Just those five rolled the tire into the woods by then, leaving a bewildered trucker standing at the empty side of the highway, wondering what medication would make him stop seeing ditched cellophane-wrapped luck turned sour.

Papaw can’t even remember how many times they did it. They transported the tire to the highway in Don Henley’s senior gift: a four-thousand-pound Chevy Cutlass that blended into the night. It never got old, and it helped take their minds off college, missed opportunities, and what could come next.

There was one trucker who stopped faster than the others. Papaw and Don Henley bent to roll the tire into the woods, shuffling feet against asphalt; they were too slow. The trucker, eyes bleary from the road, squinted to the promised orange treasure and saw high school punks trundling it away, giggling like babies. Perhaps he roared in anger. Papaw only remembers that the trucker bolted back to the cab of his truck, gunned the engine, and chased the five troublemakers down a one-lane dirt road not meant for eighteen-wheelers at all. The boys, barefoot, ran harder than they ever had before, the headlights bearing down on them and hot panic making them forget that Cass County famously had rattlesnakes hiding in the sand. The boys were terrified the trucker wouldn’t stop, not only because anger was a stronger fuel than diesel, but because the road was so thin, he had no choice. So, they ran and he drove because that was all either party could do. The tire had been tossed into the woods — abandoned — at first sign of the chase. Eventually, the boys outmaneuvered the mechanical behemoth and disappeared into the dirt bike paths under quiet pine trees.

 

That’s the last time I saw Don Henley, Papaw tells us. He went to college after that. I heard about the band and the girlfriend when I got out of the military.

We sit in silence, wishing the Eagles were here to laugh with us about when everything was simple and impossible and real. And I want to give Papaw a hug, a Santa-sized one – to thank him for running fast enough, back to Bear Creek where his mother waited – but he’s in Houston, and my neck is cramped from staring at the screen.

#

We wave goodbye and the screen goes dark. I study my face in the aftermath. Would I have ever taunted eighteen-wheelers at two in the morning with future Eagles, if I’d had the chance?

Probably not. Too many rattlesnakes.

Maybe Papaw could have been a Rockstar, but rockstars need to know more than three songs.

 

 

 

Emma Hill is a published author of poetry, fiction, and nonfiction. She has appeared in the literary journals HUMID, The Bell Tower, and Route 7 Review and received recognition from various local chapbook competitions. When not writing furiously, she is enjoying her final year in Stephen F. Austin State University’s Creative Writing undergraduate program. She also edits essays for SFASU’s Academic Assistance and Resource Center, often with her not-so-helpful cat batting at the keyboard.

Modern Fugitives

By Andrew Cottrell

I squeeze my legs out of our tunnel and look back at my brother, “It worked!” he shoots me a worried glance and I then remember that we are doing something illegal, and start whispering instead, “I mean, it worked,” I unknowingly touch the jewels in my back pocket, thinking of the portal they would make to a new life.

He looks back at me while struggling to squeeze out of the tunnel; my brother is a round man, and a fair bit heftier than I, so he had gotten caught on the tunnel’s exit, as it was smaller than the tunnel itself.

“Of course it worked, but are you still sure we’re safe?” my brother’s head shot furtively around, looking for the cougars.

That’s what we call them at least, everyone else calls them the police, but when you’re hanging around a bank trying not to look suspicious, it’s better to not talk about the missing police, cougars are much less suspicious, plus, where we live, everyone knows about the cougars who prowl the city at night: it’s the oldest trick in the book to get a toddler to sleep here in Denver.

I gave him a pat on the head, unknowingly pushing him farther into the tunnel, “don’t worry, the cougars are gone,” but I’m not so sure of myself, and I go check around the corner of the alley we are in.

The bright light of the street blinds me; I’ve been in darkness for so long. I blink a few times to get used to the light and then try to act casual as I scan the road for cougar cars. I don’t see anything threatening, so I go back to my brother, who is still stuck in the tunnel’s exit.

“C’mon brother, let’s getcha outta there,” I waltz over to my brother trying to act as cool and suave as a millionaire, when I trip on a rotten apple that was strewn on the ground, possibly by a homeless man. I fall flat on my face, and my brother starts laughing at me.

Then everything takes a turn for the worse, my brother is still laughing and the slight sound of sirens is heard in the distance. It’s not loud, but it’s certainly there. The expression on my face changes from pain to absolute terror in an instant. The cougars are here, and they’re on the hunt.

I scramble to my brother’s side, my face still throbbing in agony as I pull with all of my might on my brother to get him out of the hole. But he stays put. I can’t get him out of the tunnel to save my life. My mind wanders off the task and starts pondering how accurate the expression is to me. I imagine life in prison, scared, lonely, and taunted by my cell mates, but quickly snap the thought out of my head. We have to get out of here.

A loud pop rings out as the pressure holding my brother in the tunnel releases, “Great,” I mumble, ignoring the fact that he’s out of the hole, “now the cougars know where we are.”

My brother stares at me, it’s as if we’ve switched places, his face is one of absolute terror while mine is now one of annoyance, “brother,” he says to me, his voice small like a mouse pleading not to be eaten by a cat rather than an international thief, “Shouldn’t we be getting out of here?”

I look at him, still annoyed by the cougars, “thanks Captain Obvious,” I ignore his response. It’s not important anymore, “follow me,” I say, and then stare up the web of interlocking fire escapes towering above us. You’re such an idiot, my brain says to myself, shut up, brain, I have a job to do, I respond. I look back at my brother once to make sure he’s all right, and then start up the ladder leading to the first level. I make my way through the patchwork of staircases and ladders, surprised by how easy it is to scale the things.

For a split second I allow myself to think that we will be okay, but then I look back at my brother. He is struggling to get up the ladders. While I am up at least ten, he is not even half that. My mind races on what to do, but in the end, I can’t leave my brother like that. I sprint back down the fire escape to help my brother, and that’s when the cougars pull up. Their sirens are like needles pushing into my skull. The bright lights flash, and I stare at my shoes. Embarrassed. A man shouts through a megaphone, but I can’t hear him. Instead, I stare at my brother and mouth the words, “I’m sorry”, and hop down to the ground in surrender.

The cougars place the cuffs around my wrists and lead me to their car. It’s dark inside. I take in the smell of the cab, a hint of donut mixed with tears of men, and I feel I can smell the defeat of thousands of people who were once in the same position as me. I look out the window; my brother is in this same position as me. I suddenly realize how much I don’t want to go, but the cougars don’t understand my emotions. Instead, they grab the jewels out of my pocket, shut the door, and take me away to my new life.

 

 

 

Andrew Cottrell is a thirteen-year-old who plays the clarinet,— and after eight years of training has a 2nd degree black belt. He received Gold Honor Roll every semester last year, and every trimester so far this year.

 

Sundays

By Amy Wang

inhale. Imagine that you are the eldest daughter of a heavily religious middle-class family living in the suburbs of Ohio. Imagine that I am your younger sister. Imagine that I am lying in bed as I write to you, the lamp throwing reliefs over my face, knowing that you will never get this letter.

exhale. A month ago today, you sat mom and dad down in the living room. It was an hour after church and thirty minutes before mom was supposed to get the pot-roast out of the oven. There was a plate of apples on the coffee table when you began your speech. It was overturned on the floor by the time you were done.

inhale. My therapist showed me a breathing technique yesterday. I spent an hour on her dusty afghan carpet, crouched underneath bladed light, feeling the bone-drum clatter of heartbeat against breastbone. It was a waste of $175 of dad’s co-pay, but at least now I know what to do whenever I see your silhouette. Whenever I find myself in front of the door of your bedroom, hand on the wood sheltering casual silence. Inside, your bed is still unmade. Your closet door is still yawning open. The hanger of the jacket you grabbed on that last night is still broken in two on the carpet.

exhale. At dinner these days, we are three people and a ghost. Mom is always bent over her plate like it holds her heart, and dad is always blank-eyed, his skin salt-seared from his morning somewhere cloudless. After his violent, knee-jerk reaction, it’s almost surprising the way he’s mellowed out. The way he has pressed spine into putty. The bible on his nightstand is untouched, caught perpetually flipped open to Psalm 127:3. It’s almost funny how mom has done the opposite. Fingers folded in prayer, the lines on her palm have been cut into one. If anything, she is more religious now. After mass she is always one of the last supplicants in front of the cross. I can almost imagine that beneath her flowered skirt, there are permanent grooves in her knees. She hasn’t taken our family picture off of the mantle yet, and every time the candlelight sparkles over your face in its little glass frame it is an exercise in nostalgia. An exercise in loss.

inhale. At church today during the sermon, I slid a foot over the burnished wood of our pew and expected to feel your Mary-Janes in the space beside mine. I should be used to the absence by now; if I count that first one, it’s been four weeks since you last sat next to me. Time moves slowly here, like honey, like rosary beads down string, like the gentle clucking of neighborhood mothers, handkerchiefs fluttering in the air like dove wings. When the pastor sees me he is always stilted, wooden words falling hollow like rosary beads every time I open my mouth. As if all it takes to break me is a casual tragedy. As if I am not already broken. With every look they give me I wish I could undo myself. With every sigh I am one step closer to coming undone.

exhale. During Sunday-school, we draw hopscotch squares on bare cement, wreathe them in chalk flowers and the purple dust of the only pink we have. The other girls never say your name around me. When they do talk about what happened, they couple their words with dyke, damned, deserved, syllables stretching longer the less they knew you. The first time it happened, I asked to be sent home. Now when they do it, I sit on the bench and imagine slamming fist to throat until their fish-mouths are scarlet red on pavement. I am almost ready. I am almost coping. I am almost surprised, really, at how easy it is to adapt to tragedy.

inhale. There is a version of this story in which they do not erase you. There is a version of this story in which mom smiled and dad frowned and at the end of the day we still gather round the dinner table. There is a version of this story in which they reconciled faith with the child they raised, and hand in hand we walked into the sunset. In the version we lived, there was no exultation. No sweeping spotlight. Only the fatal kiss of car against skin against asphalt after you ran out onto a dark street without looking both ways, blinded by tears and our parent’s rejection. Only a town of pointed gazes and the whispers swirling around our pew like storm drains after rain. Only a grave in a cemetery two hours away and an empty mantlepiece where our family picture of four used to be.

exhale. On some nights I still wake up at 1 am to the sound of your body hitting the hood of the car. The wet thud as you flipped over glass. The hum of the engine, as the ambulance took you away. The doctor’s voice, as he told us he was so sorry. You will never know this, but the truth is that mom cried while we sat in the ER. The truth is that the dead do not soften under the tears of the living. The truth is that though I am pressing pen to paper as if in confidence, when in reality I will never know if you can forgive me for not running after you. For standing up too little. For choking back the words, even now.

inhale. Imagine, that as I write this, the sky is bleeding into the horizon. It is Monday morning. Imagine, that from my bed, I can see the lawn, where morning light cleaves and morning dew melts into rain. Imagine that you are now buried, somewhere silent and green, too far away for me to visit on my own.

exhale. I miss you, sister.  But let me finish writing this letter. For a second, as I lean against the wall between our bedrooms and hear nothing on the other side, I ache. I let your absence envelop me. Let it swallow me whole. I will never not miss you.

 

 

Amy Wang is a sophomore from California. In her free time, you can find her reading fanfiction. Her work is published or forthcoming at Twin Pies Literary, Ogma, and X-R-A-Y Lit.

 

 

 

Sorry!

By Jack Greenway

I call blue!
After my friends and I make our way back from lunch,
we go straight to the old, broken down box,
worn from years of kids like us playing at indoor recess.
I sit on the cold floor with the boys
and we begin to play.
Our games are always heated, full of trash-talk
and petty arguments
but I come out on top.
“Sorry!” I say.
But we all know,
I’m not.

 

Jack Greenway is thirteen years old and goes to St. Patrick’s School in Rolla, Missouri. He wrote this poem because it shows his competitive nature in all of the games he likes to play – and in just about everything he does.

Snowday

By Crystal Peng

Snow falls. Today: Wake up. Outside the glass the field is white, sprung with down. Turn to see myself in the glass but see Imogen instead. Her wrinkles etched onto me; scars inked into me. Ache but Imogen doesn’t budge, flails tight against my pores. Yell Get out get out get out from behind the glass. Today: I want to Get out get out get out where Imogen can’t be seen. (Things I carry: warmth ran between jawline, bedsheet heat welled into heart.) Where I won’t be seen as Imogen, where I can’t see myself as Imogen. Get out get out get out! Beyond the glass is a blinding blizzard, in that blizzard is a field. Get up: Imogen brushes my teeth. I brush my teeth. Rinse; twice. (Wool: Imogen is allergic to wool; I dress in wool.) Mother sees me see Imogen in glass, scowls at my foggy disproportion. Mother pours me breakfast porridge, tries to unfrown my visage. But I, I don’t touch the porridge, no, instead I pin Imogen down in the glass. Tell her I don’t want to wear her anymore. Tell her I want to peel myself like an orange, her skin like my rind. Mother yells at Imogen, NO, she yells at Me! Get Out! Late for School! Get sick without sweater! (Mother-heated words pelted at the spine; made to wear as parka.) But Get Out Get Out Get Out Get Out Today! Getting out to that field of snow! Imogen, she blinds away against the cold. The cold is where I finally breathe. Today I threaten, strangling Imogen with my own hair, teeth grazing her own skin. Break her glass. Sniff its sour edge. (Gloves gloved, feet shoed, no, booted!) Yesterday, I hid in her closet. A symmetrical skeleton to her bones. But Today I’ll Get Out! Get Out & Away, Away to See Imogen where she can’t be Seen, Away into that blizzard field! Get! Out Out! Out Get-ting! Out To-day Out Today—

—Today, it snows. Today, sitting on the welcome mat I boot my feet, boot Imogen’s feet. Today, sitting on the leaving mat I have decided to Leave. Check the thermostat, once. Twice. Thrice. I check it until my face is limp against plaster walls. Check stove. Check doors, windows (Don’t look for myself in the glass!) Coat on, hair out from under the scarf, my breath already hazed like the blizzard. I’m Leaving Today. Leaving the chrysalis where I’ve homed, I’m leaving all my glassy shards behind. Gonna Leave Imogen behind to go to that snowy field, gonna leave her for the cold. Getting Out! I know what I’ll do, yes, I will Leave her behind. I’m Leaving to where I’ll be seen without Imogen. Leaving this land, no, this nation of Imogen. Leaving the Imogen nation. Leaving the Imagination. Get out! I’m Leaving! Today, I’m Leaving Imogen behind! I Leave Imogen Behind! I Leave what is Imagined Behind.

 

Crystal Peng is a high school student living in Vancouver, Canada. Her work has been awarded first prize in the Jessamy Stursberg Poetry Prize and has appeared in Poetry Pause and Sine Theta Magazine.

 

 

Salvation of Maple Leaves in Haiku

By Morgan Flodman

I

The maple leaves blush
in the fine fabrics they wear
for their funeral

II

They prostrate toward God
once they hit the winding road,
humble in the dirt

III

The wind carries them
and they glide rapturously,
soon to resurrect

IV

What about the buds?
Righteous anger buries them
underneath the snow

V

Until the Sun shines,
they await their baptism—
water seeps new life

 

Morgan Flodman is a writer from the village of Cherry Valley, Massachusetts. Her work has appeared in The Apprentice Writer, Calm Down Magazine, Kalopsia Literary Journal, and Trouvaille Review, plus she has been honorably recognized by the International Torrance Legacy Creativity Awards, and the Scholastic Art & Writing Awards. Keep up with her literary endeavors on Instagram: @morganflodmanwrites

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